Monday existed of my computer, Augustine, Cassian, and myself all day. I was trying to finish my paper for my seminary class before I left for Palenque, so that I would not be focused on anything except the work. It did not happen. I did have a good meeting with Darlys and Maricela for their time of discipleship. Afterwards, it was back to the paper…
Tuesday, was more of Monday except I hit a wall and could not get past it. So, I talked to Josh and he listened to me and made sense of my thoughts. I sat down with a clear head and began to write some more until another block came. I felt Him telling me to go watch a movie. I did not trust it at first because the last thing I wanted to do was write my paper and it sounded too good to be true for me to have permission to watch a movie. It was indeed from Him and so I watched a small movie called the Encounter. It is about several different people who are traveling, the road is closed, and so they wait out a storm in a diner where they have the encounter with Jss. It was a good movie but HE used to it reveal a root of a sin that I have been fighting against for years, since HE revealed it in my life.
I have struggled with lying my whole life and HE has truly freed me from much of this sin. About 7 years ago, HE revealed to me that I was still lying and not living completely in His Truth. HE revealed that every time I do not tell the entire truth because I want to protect myself and when I exaggerate something to be funny or whatever, it is a lie. I have asked HIM to reveal the root of this sin, as it has wrecked havoc in my life since I was young. I despise liars and I was the biggest one of them all. Well, it was during this movie that revealed that the root of this sin is my pride. I do not tell the entire truth to all people because I want to protect myself…pride. I exaggerate things because I don’t believe that what HE actually did is sufficient to tell people…pride. WOW! HE also revealed that there was one time in my life that I did not understand why and had asked and was waiting for the answer. When I was in college, HE eliminated the opportunity for me to graduate from Baylor. I never understood why HE would take me all the way there and not let me graduate. HE revealed that HE was protecting me from a further fall into this sin of pride. This was just one of the many things HE revealed to me today during this little movie. I immediately got on my knees and repented for all of the times HE brought to my mind and heart that I had lied. HE showed me that when I am challenged to slip again, it is better to remain quiet than to lie. I praise HIM for releasing me and cutting this root of this sin I have been fighting with for so long. I still struggle with pride, do not get me wrong but the rest of the week I was not tempted to not tell the entire truth and was tempted one time to exaggerate in a story I was telling. I heard His Sweet Voice asking me, if what HE did in my life wasn’t sufficient and I thought I needed to “spice it up a little”? Another humbling time in the life of Kendall, I think that this land of sanctification gets hotter and hotter the longer I am in the refiners fire. I sure hope I come out looking a lot more like Him and less like me.
After this revelation, I cannot tell you the freedom I felt…the weight that was lifted off of my shoulders. I head back to my computer and for the next 5 hours write and write and write until I finished my paper! I praise HIM for allowing me to finish this paper before going to Palenque! I spent the evening on my knees in pryr and praise for what HE did in my life and asking HIM to prepare me for Palenque.
Wednesday, we left for Palenque and had a great time of discipleship with Darlys on the way out. She is dealing with lots of doubts that she has had since HE has opened her eyes to some spectacular Truths. I helped her walk through several of these on our way out and of course we spent time in pryr. We arrive and talk to the newlyweds who had recently returned from their honeymoon and then head down to study with Ddr. Darlys did not feel comfortable taking the lead and so I walked Ddr through a review of what we had been studying to see what she did and did not understand. We then headed to Krstn and Dncl’s house and find them busy but willing to talk. So we sit, listen to them talk, and watch HIM open doors for us to share His Word without having a specific study time set with them. HE is really moving in this couple and it is exciting to watch Him transform their marriage (now that they are married), their family life, and just the love between the two of them. It is really beautiful! We head back to the house to eat dinner, and set up for the youth that night. We had decided to show a movie because it had been awhile since we had shown one. We had a huge group of youth that showed up for the movie and the discussion afterwards was very interesting. The movie made them think about lots of different issues and I asked them how they would deal with each of those issues based on what the Word says about each one. They did not know and so I challenged them to pick a couple and search His Words for what they say and how they should respond. It was a really good time with these youth and I pry every day that HE continues to generate a hunger in their hearts for more of Him.
Thursday AM, I had planned to meet with the youth but Susie was still here with her group and asked if we could have worship together. I agreed and so we had worship that morning together with the women whom we normally meet with each Thursday. She then asked me to teach and because Js Mnl (Hrln’s husband) is now living in the house as well, I did not feel comfortable teaching them the lesson I had prepared for the women. I asked Js Mnl to teach and he taught on the persistent widow from Luke. He was using the passage out of context but I just watched and waited for His timing to speak. One of the younger girls with YWAM asked about the work elected and who are the elected. I waited to see what the two men would say or what the other leaders would say and when they said nothing I began to ask questions. I wanted to see what their understanding was of this doctrine before I taught on it. As usual, free will was brought up. I asked to be shown where the word free will is in the Word and then I noticed the tension in the room rising. People were no longer talking in love and seeking Truth but in their flesh and pride. I stopped the conversation and said that I would love to teach on this subject but only after everyone has had a chance to research it. They all agreed and we pryd and finished the study. I had a chance to speak for a little bit with the women and see how they were doing. About the time we were sharing, a lady from a foundation came in to share with us her project and see how we could help. It is neat to see how HE is opening doors for us to share His Truths in different areas. We had a nice conversation and plan to be in their meeting next week to hear more about their plans.
After that little meeting, I sat and listened to Susie share her heart and what has been going on in her life. It was good to hear what HE had been speaking to her about and what her heart condition was at that time, so I can know how to pry. She told me about their week in Palenque and their plans for the rest of the year. We all had lunch together and then Darlys and I headed out to meet with some ladies. It was a good time of just getting to know these ladies and hear about their lives. We headed down to the farm for our study as a family and English class. We are talking about the works of the cross with the family. We are discussing sacrifice and talked about the first sacrifice in the Word and it was cool to watch Him open their eyes to this part of the story. We also spent time in the consequence of sin for man and for woman. I love that this family is so comfortable with us that they show their truth thoughts which gives us a chance to point them to Scripture and allow the HS to refine them in their ways of thinking and acting. It is such a blessing to watch Him work. It was also a great time for me to talk to Darlys afterwards about bringing everything we do back to the work at the cross. She was challenged by the teaching from the fall of man story and had many questions on our long walk back to the house. That evening, Yeison one of the YWAM members was presenting a slideshow about his trip to Africa. It was a great way for His Name to be spoken in front of several youth who showed up to hear about his trip to Africa. That night, we spent time with the YWAM team just talking and sharing stories. It was really important for me that we bond with this team as they re-enter and that we are unified in what HE has given us to do in Palenque.
Friday, we leave early so that Darlys can get to work and I head to the farm. Finally, I was able to get all the women together for a time of sharing and pryr. It was an awkward time at first and I am not sure why there is a weird tension in the room between the four of them, so I began to pry for discernment as I lead. We pryd for each other and afterward I spent time talking and planning with Luis Fernando. He and I are teaching at the mission’s conference on the gospel and we were discussing what HE had shown each one of us individually. I praise HIM for His faithfulness! He gave both of us the same passage and the same ideas for the workshop we are teaching. We spent several hours planning and studying and pryng together over this workshop. I ate lunch with his family and then headed down to spend time with the Riffle’s. It was a good day but I had to leave early to get home, look at my paper once more and send it in. I get home and take care of my paper. It was such a relief to have it all taken care of and that assignment finished so I could move on to other assignments. I spent the evening just processing what HE showed me during the week and praising HIM for using me in such a cool ways!
Saturday, I woke up exhausted but it was a full day. I had brought home some clothes of Ktln’s to wash, so I washed her clothes while I spent time with HIM. I spent time studying for the study with the sports team and then the youth girls from the local club that were coming to spend the night. It was a good study with the youth team as we recapped what we had learned in Romans and I gave them a new assignment of preparing their gospel message presentation. I love watching them grow in their confidence of using His Word and allow His Words to be their guide for all their decisions and no longer the beliefs they grew up with based from their clubs. I pry that HE uses these youth to reform the local clubs back to the doctrinal basics that we were meant to stand on and not man made rules and a watered down gospel. That evening, I sat with Darlys and waited for the girls from the club to come. It is Darlys’ birthday and we both decided that if no one showed up that we would go home, eat, and go see a movie but the girls one by one showed up. We ended up with a good amount of girls, which was great for me as I observed them interact with each other and learned so much about them as individuals and a group. I am not sure what HE wants me to do with this group of girls. I am not sure if they even have a desire to truly know Him. As I listened to their testimonies and conversations, I was sad to hear that many of these girls have received “discipleship” yet have no idea what the gospel message is at all. They have based their lives on a lie and for this reason are not completely sold out and are constantly going back to their old sin…they don’t know HIS Grace! It was a good night and I think they all enjoyed it. I was exhausted as we finally got to bed at about 3AM…yes, I am WAY too old for this kind of thing. The next morning, Darlys wanted me to do a devo with all of them but I wanted them to spend time alone with Him. I wanted to see what their personal devos looked like and what He could show me through this and model for them through my time alone with Him. I am excited to see what He does with this group and what role He desires for me to play.
Tuesday, was more of Monday except I hit a wall and could not get past it. So, I talked to Josh and he listened to me and made sense of my thoughts. I sat down with a clear head and began to write some more until another block came. I felt Him telling me to go watch a movie. I did not trust it at first because the last thing I wanted to do was write my paper and it sounded too good to be true for me to have permission to watch a movie. It was indeed from Him and so I watched a small movie called the Encounter. It is about several different people who are traveling, the road is closed, and so they wait out a storm in a diner where they have the encounter with Jss. It was a good movie but HE used to it reveal a root of a sin that I have been fighting against for years, since HE revealed it in my life.
I have struggled with lying my whole life and HE has truly freed me from much of this sin. About 7 years ago, HE revealed to me that I was still lying and not living completely in His Truth. HE revealed that every time I do not tell the entire truth because I want to protect myself and when I exaggerate something to be funny or whatever, it is a lie. I have asked HIM to reveal the root of this sin, as it has wrecked havoc in my life since I was young. I despise liars and I was the biggest one of them all. Well, it was during this movie that revealed that the root of this sin is my pride. I do not tell the entire truth to all people because I want to protect myself…pride. I exaggerate things because I don’t believe that what HE actually did is sufficient to tell people…pride. WOW! HE also revealed that there was one time in my life that I did not understand why and had asked and was waiting for the answer. When I was in college, HE eliminated the opportunity for me to graduate from Baylor. I never understood why HE would take me all the way there and not let me graduate. HE revealed that HE was protecting me from a further fall into this sin of pride. This was just one of the many things HE revealed to me today during this little movie. I immediately got on my knees and repented for all of the times HE brought to my mind and heart that I had lied. HE showed me that when I am challenged to slip again, it is better to remain quiet than to lie. I praise HIM for releasing me and cutting this root of this sin I have been fighting with for so long. I still struggle with pride, do not get me wrong but the rest of the week I was not tempted to not tell the entire truth and was tempted one time to exaggerate in a story I was telling. I heard His Sweet Voice asking me, if what HE did in my life wasn’t sufficient and I thought I needed to “spice it up a little”? Another humbling time in the life of Kendall, I think that this land of sanctification gets hotter and hotter the longer I am in the refiners fire. I sure hope I come out looking a lot more like Him and less like me.
After this revelation, I cannot tell you the freedom I felt…the weight that was lifted off of my shoulders. I head back to my computer and for the next 5 hours write and write and write until I finished my paper! I praise HIM for allowing me to finish this paper before going to Palenque! I spent the evening on my knees in pryr and praise for what HE did in my life and asking HIM to prepare me for Palenque.
Wednesday, we left for Palenque and had a great time of discipleship with Darlys on the way out. She is dealing with lots of doubts that she has had since HE has opened her eyes to some spectacular Truths. I helped her walk through several of these on our way out and of course we spent time in pryr. We arrive and talk to the newlyweds who had recently returned from their honeymoon and then head down to study with Ddr. Darlys did not feel comfortable taking the lead and so I walked Ddr through a review of what we had been studying to see what she did and did not understand. We then headed to Krstn and Dncl’s house and find them busy but willing to talk. So we sit, listen to them talk, and watch HIM open doors for us to share His Word without having a specific study time set with them. HE is really moving in this couple and it is exciting to watch Him transform their marriage (now that they are married), their family life, and just the love between the two of them. It is really beautiful! We head back to the house to eat dinner, and set up for the youth that night. We had decided to show a movie because it had been awhile since we had shown one. We had a huge group of youth that showed up for the movie and the discussion afterwards was very interesting. The movie made them think about lots of different issues and I asked them how they would deal with each of those issues based on what the Word says about each one. They did not know and so I challenged them to pick a couple and search His Words for what they say and how they should respond. It was a really good time with these youth and I pry every day that HE continues to generate a hunger in their hearts for more of Him.
Thursday AM, I had planned to meet with the youth but Susie was still here with her group and asked if we could have worship together. I agreed and so we had worship that morning together with the women whom we normally meet with each Thursday. She then asked me to teach and because Js Mnl (Hrln’s husband) is now living in the house as well, I did not feel comfortable teaching them the lesson I had prepared for the women. I asked Js Mnl to teach and he taught on the persistent widow from Luke. He was using the passage out of context but I just watched and waited for His timing to speak. One of the younger girls with YWAM asked about the work elected and who are the elected. I waited to see what the two men would say or what the other leaders would say and when they said nothing I began to ask questions. I wanted to see what their understanding was of this doctrine before I taught on it. As usual, free will was brought up. I asked to be shown where the word free will is in the Word and then I noticed the tension in the room rising. People were no longer talking in love and seeking Truth but in their flesh and pride. I stopped the conversation and said that I would love to teach on this subject but only after everyone has had a chance to research it. They all agreed and we pryd and finished the study. I had a chance to speak for a little bit with the women and see how they were doing. About the time we were sharing, a lady from a foundation came in to share with us her project and see how we could help. It is neat to see how HE is opening doors for us to share His Truths in different areas. We had a nice conversation and plan to be in their meeting next week to hear more about their plans.
After that little meeting, I sat and listened to Susie share her heart and what has been going on in her life. It was good to hear what HE had been speaking to her about and what her heart condition was at that time, so I can know how to pry. She told me about their week in Palenque and their plans for the rest of the year. We all had lunch together and then Darlys and I headed out to meet with some ladies. It was a good time of just getting to know these ladies and hear about their lives. We headed down to the farm for our study as a family and English class. We are talking about the works of the cross with the family. We are discussing sacrifice and talked about the first sacrifice in the Word and it was cool to watch Him open their eyes to this part of the story. We also spent time in the consequence of sin for man and for woman. I love that this family is so comfortable with us that they show their truth thoughts which gives us a chance to point them to Scripture and allow the HS to refine them in their ways of thinking and acting. It is such a blessing to watch Him work. It was also a great time for me to talk to Darlys afterwards about bringing everything we do back to the work at the cross. She was challenged by the teaching from the fall of man story and had many questions on our long walk back to the house. That evening, Yeison one of the YWAM members was presenting a slideshow about his trip to Africa. It was a great way for His Name to be spoken in front of several youth who showed up to hear about his trip to Africa. That night, we spent time with the YWAM team just talking and sharing stories. It was really important for me that we bond with this team as they re-enter and that we are unified in what HE has given us to do in Palenque.
Friday, we leave early so that Darlys can get to work and I head to the farm. Finally, I was able to get all the women together for a time of sharing and pryr. It was an awkward time at first and I am not sure why there is a weird tension in the room between the four of them, so I began to pry for discernment as I lead. We pryd for each other and afterward I spent time talking and planning with Luis Fernando. He and I are teaching at the mission’s conference on the gospel and we were discussing what HE had shown each one of us individually. I praise HIM for His faithfulness! He gave both of us the same passage and the same ideas for the workshop we are teaching. We spent several hours planning and studying and pryng together over this workshop. I ate lunch with his family and then headed down to spend time with the Riffle’s. It was a good day but I had to leave early to get home, look at my paper once more and send it in. I get home and take care of my paper. It was such a relief to have it all taken care of and that assignment finished so I could move on to other assignments. I spent the evening just processing what HE showed me during the week and praising HIM for using me in such a cool ways!
Saturday, I woke up exhausted but it was a full day. I had brought home some clothes of Ktln’s to wash, so I washed her clothes while I spent time with HIM. I spent time studying for the study with the sports team and then the youth girls from the local club that were coming to spend the night. It was a good study with the youth team as we recapped what we had learned in Romans and I gave them a new assignment of preparing their gospel message presentation. I love watching them grow in their confidence of using His Word and allow His Words to be their guide for all their decisions and no longer the beliefs they grew up with based from their clubs. I pry that HE uses these youth to reform the local clubs back to the doctrinal basics that we were meant to stand on and not man made rules and a watered down gospel. That evening, I sat with Darlys and waited for the girls from the club to come. It is Darlys’ birthday and we both decided that if no one showed up that we would go home, eat, and go see a movie but the girls one by one showed up. We ended up with a good amount of girls, which was great for me as I observed them interact with each other and learned so much about them as individuals and a group. I am not sure what HE wants me to do with this group of girls. I am not sure if they even have a desire to truly know Him. As I listened to their testimonies and conversations, I was sad to hear that many of these girls have received “discipleship” yet have no idea what the gospel message is at all. They have based their lives on a lie and for this reason are not completely sold out and are constantly going back to their old sin…they don’t know HIS Grace! It was a good night and I think they all enjoyed it. I was exhausted as we finally got to bed at about 3AM…yes, I am WAY too old for this kind of thing. The next morning, Darlys wanted me to do a devo with all of them but I wanted them to spend time alone with Him. I wanted to see what their personal devos looked like and what He could show me through this and model for them through my time alone with Him. I am excited to see what He does with this group and what role He desires for me to play.
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