As I sit in front of this computer trying for the 100th time to start this update, I am brought to my knees as I reflect on His mercy and grace in my life over the past month. It has been exactly one month and 2 days since I packed up 4 ½ years of my life in Colombia, said goodbye to that foreign land and it’s peoples that HE had transformed into my home and family, and boarded a plane to what should feel like home but has felt more foreign than I can adequately express in words. The one thing that made this transition easier was that I was bringing a huge part of Colombia that had captured my heart back with me to the US, Jorge.
The shock I felt as we landed and sat in Miami, Florida was more than I could bear. I know most of you reading this will think I am crazy and it is okay, I am quite weird. When we entered, I felt such a suffocating pressure and presence around me that I honestly could not breathe and began to panic. I pryd, proclaimed His Words, and tried to sit quietly asking HIM to relieve me. Eventually, Jorge pryd over me and I caught my breath but the weight did not completely lift off my chest. As I watched people, tried to help Jorge understand what was going on, and just move from one terminal to the next…I realized that I needed HIM here way more than ever before. I understood the language but not the people. Everything seemed familiar but at the same time so strange. So as we boarded the plane to Nashville, I sat with My Father and begged for His mercy and love to consume me as I was unsure of what was next in my life.
So fast-forward through 2 weeks of just complete numbness, shock, and overwhelming experiences right and left, and my sister and brother in law arrive. Kerri took one look at me and knew I was not in a good place. I was being attacked physically and was exhausted. I was being attacked emotionally and could not process anything in a healthy manner. I was being attacked spiritually and questioned one of the most important decisions I would ever make and why HE brought me back here. My family was amazing and so patient with me as I have been struggling. Jorge has been a champ; giving me space when I needed it, making me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry, and just entering into our family and doing his part with chores and what not.
How is it that a Colombian who is arriving in a new country for the first time, being surrounded by people he doesn’t understand and a language that he has not fully grasped walk around like he is on the familiar streets of Cartagena, Colombia? Where was my faith and trust in My Father Who had been my everything for the past 4 ½ years? Why was there such inner turmoil inside of me and I was “home”? HE was faithful when I was not and I praise HIM for carrying me through these past 4 weeks of busyness and celebrations. Little by little, HE began to speak to me and give me opportunities to serve HIM and share His love with others.
So it was time for our big day, the wedding cruise that HE had organized in such a way that I stand in awe of a DAD so good and loving that would do everything to make this little dream of mine a reality, even when I was not all that excited to go. HE provided everything in such cool ways that all you could do was praise HIM because it was all HIM and not us! I love it! Even to the point, that Jorge and I were looking at rings and HE provided two rings that fit perfectly that my sister and Felipe had ordered for themselves 2 years ago but didn’t return them. There is so much more that I could write here but I will save it for personal conversations. I tried to fight the LRD is so much during the past 4 weeks and HE just kept being Amazing.
So, the day comes for 11 of us to pack up our stuff in a van and make the trip down to Miami for this cruise. We left earlier than we had planned because of a cold front that was coming through and bringing freezing temperatures and snow with it. We had a great time in the van just talking, sleeping, singing, and whatever else you can imagine to do in a van for 16 hours (with an 11 month old!) We arrive early that morning and hadn’t slept all night, we find the port and then quickly head to an IHOP for breakfast. Even as I sat around the table looking at who HE had placed around Jorge and I, I stood in awe of a Father that thinks of everything and had blessed me more than I deserve with people who love us and wanted to be a part of this week. After IHOP, we walk around, find a Kmart to kill more time. A friend sends me a text telling me we should go to some famous outdoor mall and so we head there and just enjoy time sitting outside and being together. He provides even for the smallest things!
It comes time for us to head to the port and get this cruise started. We unload the van and wait for another couple to enter in with us because they had some of our luggage. This waiting turns into a crazy time of trying to direct them here using maps and Siri; it was quite the show. Jorge’s family arrives and we chat with them for a little while. The couple still had not arrived and so we send everyone in but Jorge because we were on the same boarding pass. Jorge and I chat and try to help the couple to arrive. Eventually, they arrive and we get them situated and we enter in to let the FUN begin! As we are waiting in the line to check in, we see the Paul family and it is becoming more real that all of this is happening and I cannot stop praising HIM for giving us a week with our family, no matter what happened on the boat!
HE is so sovereign in moving me towards a time of worship because what happens next is something that I still cannot honestly believe happened to us. The Carnival agent told us that we had to follow her into another room. We are told that there is a problem with Jorge’s visa and we explain our situation. We explain that we are on this cruise to get married, that there are 27 other people on the boat, and explain all that had been done before with Carnival to show that there is no problem for Jorge to go. So we wait and wait and wait for an hour in what turns to be named Carnival prison by me (they would not let me leave to go see The Jenkins as they waited in line and I wanted to explain to them what was happening.) While we wait, we are pryng and reading His Words trusting that HE is in control. We were able to help and share His Truths with a couple from Spain that did not speak any English. It was a great time to share with them and took my mind off the fact that we had been told nothing this entire time.
Another 30 minutes pass and still we have heard nothing, so I begin to be my little aggressive self and demand to know something or else all 27 people are getting off the boat and we will celebrate somewhere else. This situation was completely out of our hands and so we had to completely trust in HIM that what HE desired would happen and we would worship HIM. Eventually, everyone else in the Carnival prison was released but two other people and us. So as we wait, I look at my watch and realize that it is almost time for the boat to leave and that they have stalled to talk to us so that the doors were closed and no one could get off or get on. They share with us that we cannot go on the cruise. I share with these two new people the story, show them the emails from Carnival stating that we could, and still they deny us. I honestly feel like I am in a dream but cannot stay there because we need to communicate all of this to our family and get our bags off the boat and figure out what we are going to do. So I call my mom to get her to bring our bags but they would not let her off and would not tell her anything but they did bring us our bags. It is 4:00pm now, we haven’t slept or eaten and now are faced with the reality that all of our family and friends are going on our cruise and we are stuck in Miami without a car or plan of where to go and what to do.
The Carnival people give us a grace to charge my phone a little so we can begin to make plans and inform my family of what has happened. They then escort us out of the building and I get this “great” idea to tell everyone to come to the back of the boat to say goodbye to us. DUMB move, Kendall. After their muster station drills, they all head back to the boat and when I saw them all, I just lost it. I could not control myself and really did not understand why any of this had happened and how it had happened. My brain could not process everything as I stood there beside Jorge, looking up on 27 of the most amazing people in the world, and waving goodbye to them. Never in a million years did I see this coming. With everything that had happened over the past 4 weeks, I thought a lot of different scenerios but never did this one enter into my mind. HE saved me through a text through Wyley that stated that “this will make a great wedding story one day. All thing work together. All things. Remember that we can’t lose. I think Gd is taking everything away except what you needed…look who is left standing next to you.”
After this text, HE calmed my spirit and I was able to talk to my family, have my dad pry over us, and say goodbye. We stood there for what seemed like days watching the boat leave and us waving goodbye and this reality sinking in, that Jorge and I were not going on this cruise. So now with the boat gone, we have luggage and that is about it. The Carnival people said that they called for a taxi for us but nothing had come in the hour we had been standing there. Eventually, the two people who had been “helping” us came out to go home and called another taxi. We get in the taxi, the man doesn’t speak English, and he takes us to some hotel. We get rooms, unload our stuff, and walk across the street to eat. The meal was full of good food, blank stares, tears, and text messages from our loved ones. We walked around for a bit to talk, pry, and process. We headed back to our rooms, showered, pryd together, and went to bed…I think it was like 8:30pm.
The next morning, we woke up and ate the “hot breakfast”/bagel offered by our hotel. We pryd over what we should do and what our options were at this time. We honestly did not have the money to afford this hotel for much longer and it was not a nice hotel but the cheapest around. We did not know anyone in the area. We read Joshua 1 and are reminded to be strong and courageous. Do not tremble or be dismayed for the Lrd Your Gd is with you wherever you go. Right after a time of meditating on His Word, my mom calls me to remind me that a friend from college lives in Miami and that I should call him. Jorge’s sister in law has an aunt who lives in the area and she was willing to let us stay with them. My friends text me with an offer to pay all of our expenses if we wanted to stay in the hotel to process. WHAT? In a matter of 30 minutes, we had 3 options and HE had once again provided for us. We were swimming in His grace and love! I personally just wanted to head back to Nashville and be alone. Jorge reminded me that we needed to seek His will for all of this and if we are to be used by Him in someone’s life, we need to be open to that. HE reminded me what were the main reasons that I wanted to go on a cruise for my wedding. I wanted His Name to be glorified, for everyone to have a personal encounter with HIM and come away changed, and to get married. I submit my desires to HIS and ask for HIM to glorify His Name through this situation and give joy to all involved as they meet with HIM. So I call my long time friend who I haven’t seen in 12 years, Kerri’s friend’s mom who lives 4 hours away, M’s aunt, and we check out of our hotel.
Jorge and I get some coffee and wait on HIM to see who can take us in and where we should go. My friend ends up being like 10 minutes away from us and volunteers to come and get us and take us to his house. So, C picks us up, takes us to eat lunch, and to the direction of M’s aunt’s house but it ended up being the wrong address. Her house was too far away and so we felt HE was closing that door. So, C takes us to a mall for us to kill time while he goes home to clean his house to receive the approval of his pregnant wife. Jorge and I walk around, still feels like a dream to me, we eat dinner, and go to a movie. C picks us up and we head to his house to sleep. It was great to catch up with C and his wife, meet his two kids, and just feel His love in such a unique way.
The next day, we spend time in His Words. I am in Joshua 2 and HE meets me once again with the story of Rahab. I had been feeling convicted that I was being an adulterer with my devotion to HIM and allowing idols to enter in to my life. I know I am a liar. And HE showered me with His love once again, as I read of a lying prostitute whom HE spares and then uses her lineage to bring His Son, Jss into the world. That is right, this lying prostitute makes it into the genealogy of Jss Chrst in the book of Matthew. She is the mom of Boaz which brings me back to the book of Ruth and all HE has used this book to teach me and show me in relation to this step of becoming a wife and getting married. WOW, I sat on the floor in tears as I was overwhelmed by This Great Gd Who loves me in such extreme ways and is SO SO good in all that HE does! Today was the day that Jorge and I were to be married and I had never felt His love so tangible!
He gave me time to talk to C, share what HE has been teaching me, listen to C’s heart, share the gospel, and just a time for us to share. It was sweet time that HE ordained and I praise HIM for that. It was C’s son’s birthday and His Sovereign hands takes my thoughts off of woe is me and gives us an opportunity to make his day super special as we celebrated with the family. Jorge and I played with the boys and helped around as much as we could. We enjoyed just a night spent talking and sharing together! It was such a great day! Not to mention, HE blessed my mom with service so that I could talk to pretty much everyone on the boat. I wanted to say Happy Birthday to Noa and see how everything was going on the cruise. Why does HE love me so?
The next day, I spent time in Joshua 3. The words of the LRD to Joshua and the Israelites were like sweet water to my ears. Kendall, keep a good distance in between you and I as I show you things. Don’t run too near these things so that you will know the way which you shall go, for you have never passed this way before. I left Tennessee several days before to go on a cruise. We did not go on the cruise. We did not get married. And tomorrow we will be heading back home to lots of people and questions. He told me that HE will show us the way to go but not run to that way but wait for HIM to do it. Keep my eyes on HIM because we have never been in a situation like this before. I meditated on this Word all day. Jorge and I ate breakfast with C and S that morning and then they took us to mall to walk around outside and just be together, the two of us. We shared what HE was teaching us, what we were thinking, and just enjoyed being together in the situation we were in. We were not able to talk to anyone on the boat this day because they had no service, so we pryd a lot for all of them as they enjoyed their last day on the boat together.
That evening, we ate dinner together with the family. C asked me if I would share my testimony with his family, teach them His Words, and show him how he could begin to lead his family in this way. He is so searching and I praise HIM for allowing me to be used by HIM in C’s life. So, we all sat down and I shared my testimony and the gospel message with them. I shared a story from His Word with them and then we talked about the story and what we learned from it. Jorge and I gave them devotional books and showed the boys how to use them. We pryd and the boys went to bed. It was a sweet time where the HS ministered to the entire family as they each were tearing up as His Truths were proclaimed! I pry that HE will be the LRD of this family and glorify Himself through them!!
We began to pack up and continued to meditate on the Word from the LRD in Joshua. The next morning, I continued to meditate on this Word and praised HIM for speaking to me so clearly and giving me His Word to stand on as we head back. We say goodbye to the kids and C so generously offers to drive us back into Miami to meet up with everyone. He takes us to a sweet donut place where we buy donuts for everyone. When we arrive at the port, it was so good to see everyone and hear all about their trip! We stay at the port for a little while and then decide to go to a park that C once again selflessly offers to take us to. We spend several hours at the park where we just spend time together and have a time of worship and devotional. We then head to the bathroom, say goodbye, and each family leaves to begin their journey back to their homes. What a sweet time HE gave us together and my heart was full after hearing all that HE did in their lives and through them while on the boat. It was neat to see how HE had united this group of strangers into a family through the power of His Son, Jss.
It was a hard day as Jorge and I only had a couple of hours with his family, my sister and her husband, and two other precious families. I praise HIM for providing a phone for me before this trip because we were able to stay in contact as each of us traveled and continue to process what had happened!
So, this was not the way I thought it would have happened and am still processing everything. My time in His Word has been incredible and HE has been speaking so clearly to me. HE has been so gracious and merciful with my family and I as we don’t know how to answer everyone. We know that His Name was glorified during this trip. We know that everyone had an encounter with HIM and came away changed. We know that at least 5 people heard the gospel message and we pry that HE opens their heart to understand and receive salvation. And we know that we are to wait on HIM for the next step.
Thank you for reading this long story. Thank you for pryng for me and Jorge. Please continue to pry for us as we wait on HIM and seek His will. Ask that we will be obedient to what HE has called us to do, no matter what!
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